Fess Up Friday

Revision stats:

# of scenes staying mostly the same, but revised & retyped: 20
# of scenes heavily revised, changes in plot/character: 8
# of completely new scenes: 11
# of completely scrapped chapters: 2

We’ve entered the ugly phase of this revision. I’m convinced all writers or anyone with slightly obsessive personalities have had a period like this at least once. You shun social activity in favor of your project. You forget to eat. Your husband comes home to find you in your pajamas and asks if you’ve showered that day… You know, the ugly phase.

When people make glib comments about “how nice” it must be to write all day, it’s this phase I think of. On one hand, yes, it’s exhilarating to get lost in work that you love. On the other hand, you don’t always love it. I cannot count the number of times this week I’ve slammed my computer shut and cursed my unoriginality and that stupid cliched eye-rolling my characters go to when I can’t think of a better way of summing up their reactions. Or the times that I’ve ended one scene only to feel like every story arc is going to come crashing down on me in the next.

It’s also during the ugly period that I live mostly inside my head. I’ll be at the grocery store and completely bypass the the paper towels I came for because I’m trying to decide how to end the scene I was last working on. Socializing like this is a nightmare. Seriously, imagine tying hard to concentrate on what your friend is telling you and having a little voice in the back of your head going, “you know, that reminds me of the scene when the main character…” Yeah, people don’t really love that.

The glamorous life, this is not. Now, off to more writing…

Sure, I’ll be your mentor… how much does that pay?

Last week I mentioned that there would likely be little content on the blog until I was out from under this massive revision. I’d like to point out that may not apply to rants. I will always take time out for a good rant. Anyway…

This week I got a letter in my inbox from a respected writing organization offering me an Exciting New Opportunity. The email offered to pair me with an established writer who would help me strengthen my writing skills and achieve my writing goals. My very own mentor, the email advertised, for the low, low price of $50 a session.

At first, I rolled my eyes and sent the email to spam, but something about it continued to bother me. Thanks to all the writing mags I subscribed to over the years, I’m used to spam offering me all sorts of writing services, from the latest new writing software to pay-for-publication deals. This is not new, but something really bugged me about this. I get the organization’s newsletters with ads for workshops and confrences and critique sessions. What was different about this?

It hit me later that day when I was googling something for a friend and came across a website offering a writing mentoring program. Six weeks of working with an individual mentor was about $3,000. A less personal, group “mentorship” was offered for $1,500.

And there it was. The bee in my bonnet: Mentors for hire. It seems to be a growing trend in the writing biz and I think it’s a little misleading.

We all know mentors are awesome. I’m sure any of us pre-published writer types would jump at the chance to be taken under the wing of an established writer. There’s so much value in that. Just look at Sherwood Anderson and Ernest Hemingway. Or Laurence Olivier to Anthony Hopkins. Or Obi Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker.

But mentor is such a loaded word. By definition, a mentor is a trusted guide or coach. When most of us think of mentors we think of people with whom we’ve established (or tried to establish) a long relationship. We think of a mentor as a person who chooses to work with his or her protege because they see something special in them and want to help cultivate it. It is someone with whom we have a connection. Again, I bring up Obi Wan and Luke and I have to wonder, did Luke have to shell out $50 a session to learn about the ways of The Force? I think not.

These pay-for-mentorship programs are selling the idea of the connection, but can a connection be bought? I suppose you can take a workshop and really connect with a teacher and eventually become their protege. But that also strikes me different from the pay-as-you go mentorship. It’s clearly the money factor that bothers me. You shouldn’t pay someone to mentor you, I don’t think. And programs shouldn’t imply that they can provide the kind of special mentor-mentee relationship for $50 a session.

(For the record, I am totally not against paying for writing or editing services. Workshops, conferences, and professional critiques all cost money and they offer valuable resources for that money.)

And here’s the thing about this trend in the writing industry, especially when it comes to large, respectable organizations offering this service: We are writers. We KNOW the power of words. We know the different connotations between “mentor” and “critique services.” It’s our job to spend as much time as possible thinking about the meaning of words, which is why it feels even more dishonest to see them warped by our peers, especially for the sake of making money. I expect this of other groups and organizations, but I wished writers would be above that kind of thing.

Or maybe I’m just overthinking it.

/rant.

Fess Up Friday: Head down, blinders on

Revision stats as of 8:30 a.m. Friday:

# of scenes staying mostly the same, but revised & retyped: 14
# of scenes heavily revised, changes in plot/character: 4
# of completely new scenes: 6

I’m almost through chapter seven and this revision has been an interesting process. I’m working off a hard copy and, as I said last week, at some points it’s simply data entry. At others, namely in the case of ten of the scenes, it’s writing from scratch.

I’m noticing some benefits to this process. For one thing, I’m able to gauge how the story flows better than when I pick and choose what I revise. Not that I’m in the habit of revising out-of-order, but if I thought a chapter was fine as was, I’d skip over it and move to the next in need of revision. Nothing wrong with that approach for some, but that’s why I spent three days frustrated and annoyed because I didn’t know how to end chapter six and start chapter seven. And did I mention that chapter six has an ending now? Yep. Awesome.

The next steps may be harder. The chapters that are coming are the most in need of revision and new writing. I’ve made some changes that will change how the characters relate to one another, so I’ll be going pretty far off draft. I expect a bit of a slow down, but I have to keep plugging on.

And on that note, until this revision is done, don’t expect a lot of content other than ‘fess ups. I’m not one of the prolific bloggers that can churn out tweets and blog entries and do major revisions. I need my blinders on right now, so you’re pretty much stuck with ‘fess ups until February.

Happy writing!

‘Fess Up Friday: Two steps back

What happened: Twice now I have come on the blog to be all cavalier and like, yay, I’m feeling better. And then it comes back to bite me in the butt. So I’m not saying I’m better. I’m just saying things are not as bad as they have been, healthwise. Anyway.

I get in a pretty rotten emotional place when I get sick. I get tired. I feel bad. I get worried about my health and I end up not doing anything more than what needs to be done to keep my husband and I fed, clothed, and out of complete squalor. And even then, I sometimes fail. So that was last week.

What’s happening now: I’m revising and I’ve had a heck of a time with it. This weekend and earlier this week I tried several times to write the scene that seems to be missing at the end of chapter six. I’d write something and throw it out. Write something else, toss it. Nothing felt right. So then I did something crazy.

I threw out the draft and started retyping it from scratch. Well, not scratch, exactly but the last remaining hard copy I had. Now, I confess, this sounds like a gigantic waste of time, even to me. The Type As out there are probably rolling their eyes. You might be wondering, you couldn’t just edit the manuscript? Turn on track changes and go to town? No and no. I tried going that route and spun my wheels for three days. I tried it this way and typed/revised consistently for four. I like this way better. All the retyping actually helps keep me grounded in the novel so that when it’s time to completely revise or write a scene from scratch, I already feel like I’m there, you know? It’s like half the battle is already won.

At some points in the process, it’s simply data entry. At other points, it’s blood, sweat, and tears writing. But you know what? Even at the points where it’s just data entry, it’s still much better than sitting on my couch, agonizing over why I’m not creative enough to find the right ending for the end of chapter six. It feels like taking two steps back, but it’s not.

What I predict will happen: I’m still on target to have this revision finished by the end of the month. If I average about two chapters a day, I think I’ll be doing good.

What I am learning: Just as every writer’s process is different, so is every writing project. I never would have imagined doing this before, but this project calls for it and so I heed.

Happy writing, everyone!

Just a note to say…

… I will resume my regularly scheduled posting on Friday. The past week has been difficult health-wise and blogging was put on the back burner. Things are improving and you’ll hear all about it on Friday.

Thanks for your patience!

In 2011, I’m finally going to…

New year. New goals. I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions and I’ve never managed to keep up with long lists of goals that span years or more (100 in 1001 and the like). But I do like accountability and putting my goals out there so that hopefully someone, somewhere will keep me accountable.

I stole the title (and subject) of this post from a message board because it sums up exactly how I feel about the goals I set for 2011. These are things that I’ve put off for one reason or another but in 2011 I am finally going to get around to doing them. So without further ado, in 2011, I am finally going to:

1. Query the Prodigal manuscript. This is by far, the biggest of the goals for 2011. I’ve put this off long enough. I’m giving myself until the end of January to finish the chapters that need revision and then I query.

2. Read Scene & Structure by Jack Bickham. I’ve been on the waiting list for this book forever. Last week, I finally took myself off the list and used a Christmas gift card to buy it. It’s gotten rave reviews from my writer friends and now it’s my turn to find out why.

3. Cook something from Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I got these cookbooks for Christmas last year and pored over them over them all year long. But when time came to commit and cook from it, I totally chickened out. This year I will finally make at least one dish from the cookbook.

4. Write something new. This feels a little like a cop out since it’s not something I’ve put off (see: NaNoWriMo 2010), but I want it on here anyway. While I have the queries out, I fully intend to be working on another manuscript.

5. Get more involved in the kidlit community. Okay, this one I have been putting off. In 2010, I eased in to it all. I joined SCBWI. I went to a few local chapter meetings. I opened a public Twitter account. But despite all that I still feel like a lurker, an outsider. I read blogs, but I rarely comment on them. This year I’m finally going to put myself Out There. Try to build more relationships, both online and within our local community.

What are you finally going to do in 2011?

‘Fess Up Friday: The Closing of the Year

I’ve been dreading writing today’s ‘fess up because it feels so final. It’s the end of the year. Time to reflect on all the accomplishments of the closing year and make plans for the one to come.

Or something like that.

Let’s start with this week: I won’t lie. I feel like I mostly did busy work this week. I upgraded Scrivener and broke it in on the Prodigal manuscript. I broke chapters down into scenes and moved scenes around. I put in most of my hard copy edits and established placeholders for scenes to come. I made notes about what will happen in the scene, but I didn’t actually write it. Still, it felt good. I feel like I have A Plan now. I can get through the remaining revision.

As for my accomplishments this year, well, when I look at the carcass of the Prodigal manuscript sitting in Scrivener, it feels like I didn’t do all that much. But in actuality, I spent the first half of the year taking the very first, very convoluted draft of the manuscript and turning it into something with a plot, structure, and characters that didn’t suddenly disappear halfway through the story. I had the first five chapters critiqued and changed them and then changed them back. And then it was November and I wrote another manuscript. And then I put that manuscript away and went back to Prodigal.

It doesn’t sound like much, but when I think back to 2006 and 2007, my total creative output for the year was zip. Zilch. Zero. I wrote nothing those years. I revised the short stories from my MFA thesis when I got the whim, but nothing else. The same can probably be said for 2004 and 2005. When I think about those years and compare them to this one, things don’t seem too bad. Three years ago the only writing I had to my name was my MFA thesis and some other short stories. This year I have three novels and the beginnings of a fourth. I’ll take that accomplishment.

Happy New Year, everyone!